As I like to say “relationships are work” and often a full-time job. When faced with all the different relationships with encounter daily, parenting must be one of the most challenging. I speak to a lot of parents, both in my personal life and at work in my private practice as a therapist on a daily basis and parenting is clearly an important and difficult job. Parents don’t only provide the basic physical needs of children but are often hyper-focused on their psychological needs as well. Many times parents hold themselves responsible for implications of their decisions; Most parents want to do the best job possible and not mess up their kids! This desire to be the best parent possible can transform itself into an unrealistic ideal of the super parent.
Children will see their parents as “superheroes” with little effort. I know you probably don’t believe me but time and time again I see the faces of children when a parent hugs them and compliments them in my office. Your compliments and acceptance means the world to a young soul. It increases their self-esteem, it gives them security, builds their trust in the world and in themselves. They are more capable of accepting and complimenting others.
Children learn by example of what they see, not what they are told!!!
By modeling kindness, generosity, love, mercy, peace, forgiveness you will be teaching them to be kind, generous, loving, merciful, peaceful and forgiving.
Unmet expectations lead to anger or disrespect. Let me explain, when we ask our children to tell someone on the phone that we’re not home; we unconsciously are teaching them that lying is acceptable. However, if they lie to us then we punish them. That’s confusing for them; they unconsciously loose respect for adults. We want the best for our children yet we don’t realize that what we do is hurting them. Sometimes we model the exact behavior that we want our children to stop. If we scream, they will scream. If we argue, they will argue. If we fight, they will fight. If we share love, they will share love. If we have peace, they will have peace.
The ability to be super parents comes from within and when God is within us than “all things are possible.” Most positive behaviors are learned. As parents we have the opportunity to model and teach these skills to our children. The more we model positive behaviors and attributes and the more we practice them, the more likely they will become part of our daily lives. Eventually they will become on everyday aspect and characteristic of ourselves and our children lives and when they look back, your children will know that in their home love and peace was always modeled.
For more information on positive parenting, coaching, and/or skill building please call us and we wish your days will be filled with Ahava & Shalom.